CASE STUDY SUBLIMINAL COACHING (BEING COACHED WITHOUT HAVING STARTED COACHING)

 

CLIENT

Over a series of meetings the client was always talking about coaching, the need for coaching, the value of coaching and being too busy for coaching. They were procrastinating and ironically engaged in a meta-conversation (being coached about their feelings toward being coached) without realising it.

SESSIONS

In this unusual scenario there were a series of email and meeting to discuss coaching, and indeed a contract for coaching, but no session with an agreed goal or objective. The sessions would begin with conversation, which is a usual approach to rapport and understanding recent events, what's on the clients' mind and some useful context to the coaching topic or theme.

However the conversation would ebb and flow, and meander, without there ever being an expressed aim or intent. As a coach I allowed this to happen, on the basis it is the client's time, priority and direction and although I might intervene with observations like "That would be a great topic to explore in a coaching conversation" the client would not take the bait and it isn't for me as the coach to force the topic or the timing.

Notwithstanding this the conversations were relevant to the clients state of mind, ambition and reflection as they pondered on recent events and how they felt about them. At times it was like friends having a chat, albiet that as a coach I consciously took a more listening, empathetic and curious approach to the conversation rather than joining in with my own experience or advice.

The client spoke of his sense of belonging, freedom and connected-ness in some group situations and the opposite in others. The former being substantially informal and educational (encouraging ideas and discussion in a safe environment) whereas the latter being professional (where comments tend to be evaluated and judged).  This pattern, albeit in different forms and stories, appeared to repeat itself over a series of on-line meetings.

The client mentioned having read the book "From Contempt to Curiosity: Creating the Conditions for Groups to Collaborate Using Clean Language and Systemic Modelling" by Caitlin Walker. This was an insight to what may be on their mind.

We did discuss TA in the context of a conversation about cliques, out-groups and being patronised.

Transactional analysis - is a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy wherein social transactions are analyzed to determine the ego state of the communicator (whether parent-like, childlike, or adult-like) as a basis for understanding behavior

The discussion of belonging, trust and ability to speak freely in a non-professional environment and the feeling of being judged or in an out-group in a professional environment caused me to think about team dynamics, belonging, affiliation and Adult Attachment

Adult Attachment theory is used to categorize adults’ state of mind with respect to attachments. The classifications are secure-autonomous (F), dismissing (D), preoccupied (E), and disoriented/ disorganized (U/d).

This thinking affected my choice in response, borne out of curiosity but it did not crystallise into an agreed theme or topic of conversation. We did not, for example, specifically discuss "belonging" or "attachement". My preference being that it should be client who chooses what to explore and what labels to attach to their thoughts and feelings.

The client is hoping to start coaching soon...when things are less busy.

My view is that the client is not yet ready, or perhaps that I am not the right coach for them. Either way it does not seem to be that we have found the circumstances to move from discussing coaching to doing coaching and pushing the client when they are not ready does not seem helpful.

REFLECTIONS

I suspect there may be some questions about drawing observations and conclusions from the pre-coaching dialogue which may appear judgemental (in so far as they are in the mind of the coach rather than the client) and therefore contrary to the coaching philosophy which is non-judgemental.

The fact that the client does attend meetings, and does talk, often for a full hour, is evidential that they are getting something from the conversation. Otherwise of course they would simply send a cancellation by email.

This is not coaching in the conventional sense of GROW. Nonetheless there has been coaching, since there has been conversation, reflection, evaluation by the client about their circumstance, the meaning and value behind their relationships and their aim from coaching.

The GROW Model is a simple four-step process that helps you structure coaching and mentoring sessions with team members. GROW is an acronym that stands for: Goal. Current Reality. Options (or Obstacles).

IMPORTANT NOTES

The Coach engages in training and continuing education pursuing and/or maintaining ICF (International Coach Federation) credentials. All coaching conversations are confidential and the abbreviated case above has been amended so as to protect the anonymity for the client whilst providing evidence of coaching practice, reflection and learning, for the purposes of ICF education, supervision, or oversight.

All coaching engagements follow ICF Policies and Principles Resources, Terms and Conditions https://www.adaptconsultingcompany.com/coachingtoolkit/client.php